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Horrid Henry and the King Of Bling is the fifty-first episode in Series 3.


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(Dad spreads butter on the bread while Peter comes in)

Perfect Peter: Good morning, Dad.

Dad: Good morning, Peter. And, how are you doing?

Perfect Peter: Very well, thank you, Dad.

Dad: So, Peter. What have you got lined up for today?

Perfect Peter: Ooh, Best Boys are coming over. We're going to have a sing-song practice ready for Monday. Miss Lovely's asked us to perform for the school board.

Dad: Really? Peter, I'm so proud of you; that's wonderful!

Perfect Peter: (hears Henry's bedroom door opening) Henry's up.

Dad: Yep. Henry's up. (Henry opens the kitchen door) Or should I say, Henry's down?

(Peter giggles)

Horrid Henry: Dad, I need a mobile phone.

Dad: Good morning, Henry. And how are you, Henry? And what are you planning to do today, Henry?

Horrid Henry: (sits on the chair) Get a mobile phone.

Dad: Henry. You're not getting a mobile phone.

Horrid Henry: Why not? Everyone else has got one.

Dad: Everyone else who?

Horrid Henry: Well, uh, let me see... there's Rude Ralph, and Gorgeous Gurinder, and Moody Margaret. Of course the bogey brain's got three, and then there is Mischievous Mike. He's got one on his skateboard. And, Kind Kelly. She lent me hers once. And, well everyone, really. Like I said.

Dad: (stops spreading the mayo and points at Henry) Henry. You're not getting a mobile phone.

Horrid Henry: Even Vicious Vicky has got one.

Dad: Who's Vicious Vicky?

Horrid Henry: Sour Susan's little sister.

Dad: Sour Susan?! I don't know where you get these ideas from.

Horrid Henry: So, can I get one, Dad?

(Dad sighs)

Mum: Morning, Henry.

Horrid Henry: Morning, Mum. Can I get a mobile phone?

Mum: Oh, I don't see why not.

Horrid Henry: Yes!

Mum: As long as you pay for it out of your pocket money.


(Title card shows)


Mum: Don't be horrid, Henry. This is for you, sugar plum. It's from Great Aunt Greta, I think.

Perfect Peter: Ooh, goody! She promised to send me the bumper edition of Number Gnomes Nonsense! It's a high-def DVD, with extra gnomey-bits!

Mum: Ooh, how exciting!

Perfect Peter: Can I watch it with the Best Boys when they get here?

Mum: Of course you can, sweetie pie. You can watch it while I'm getting my hair done. Oh, you really are my very best boy!

(doorbell rings)

Perfect Peter: Ooh, that will be the Best Boys now! Best Boys always do their best! Best Boys always...

Horrid Henry: Oh, I so need a mobile phone. Dad, can I get a mobile phone today?

Dad: No, Henry.

Horrid Henry: This isn't going to be easy.

(Scene cuts to the living room where the Best Boys are on the sofa)

Perfect Peter: Ready?

(Gordon, Sam, and Ted together) Ready!

(Peter turns on the TV and shows DJB)

DJB: Yo, what's up, duddy dudes?

Perfect Peter: Um, this isn't the bumper edition of Number Gnomes Nonsense.

Goody-Goody Gordon: (shakes his head) No, Peter. It isn't.

DJB: I'm the man, the man I can! And if your name is Sam, you the man that can!

Perfect Peter: He's talking to you, Sam.

Spotless Sam: I know! (laughs)

DJB: Yo, your name is Gordon, you don't want to be richer than boredom. (the Best Boys laugh) Listen up, Ted. Wanna bounce on your bed? Peter, Peter, Peter, could you be any neater?

Perfect Peter: He's talking to us!

Tidy Ted: He's talking to all of us!

DJB: Who the man that can?

Spotless Sam: I'm the man that can!

DJB: You the man that can!

Spotless Sam: Yes, yes, I'm the man that can!

DJB: I'm the man that can!

Spotless Sam: Yes, I'm the man that can!

Tidy Ted: I want to be the man that can, too!

DJB: We the man that can!

(The Best Boys together) We the man that can!

DJB: Yeah, we the man that can!

(The Best Boys together) Yeah, we the man that can!

Horrid Henry: You see, if I had a mobile phone, I could call you at the work and ask how your day has come.

Dad: No, Henry. You couldn't because you'd be at school, and mobile phones are not allowed at school.

Horrid Henry: Aw, right. Well, then, uh...

Dad: Are you planning to do anything with that tea towel?

Horrid Henry: Well, do you mean this thing?

Dad: (sighs) Yes. That's a tea towel, and you use it to do the drying up.

Horrid Henry: Well, doesn't that what dishwashers do?

Dad: Well, yes, but today, we're doing it the old-fashioned way.

Horrid Henry: You see, that's my point, Dad. In your day, in old-fashioned time, nobody had mobile phones. But nowadays, everyone has them.

Dad: Henry. Tea towel, now.

Horrid Henry: Oh, right. If I do the drying up for you, can I have a mobile phone?

Dad: (drops the plate into the sink) NO!

(The Best Boys together) Yo, we the man, we the man that can! And we say yo, we say no to go! Ain’t nobody and nothing gonna tell us no, 'cause we the man, we the man that can!

Horrid Henry: Well, here's the problem, Dad.

Dad: (puts the cup into the cupboard) What's the problem, Henry?

Horrid Henry: Well, you just don't understand the news of today.

Dad: I have no idea what you're talking about, Henry, but you're still not getting a mobile phone.

Horrid Henry: Oh, no, I'm not talking about a mobile phone anymore. I'm talking about how it was in your day.

Dad: Huh? How it was in my day?

Horrid Henry: Yeah, 'cause you didn't have mobile phones. You have to wait to talk to each other, right?

Dad: Too right, we did. And if we couldn't wait, we called each other up on the telephone, and if it was engaged, we had to wait a bit, and then we called again.

Horrid Henry: Really? So, you didn't have caller ID, then?

Dad: Caller ID? What's caller ID?

Horrid Henry: Well, caller ID, is...

(The Best Boys together) Yo, we the man, we the man that can! And we say yo, we say yo to go! And, nobody and nothing gonna tell us no, 'cause we the man, we the man that can!

Horrid Henry: That doesn't sound like the Number Gnomes. (runs to Dad) So, caller ID is when...

Perfect Peter: Dad?

Horrid Henry: Excuse me, worm. I'm talking.

Perfect Peter: Dad, can I use Mum's mobile phone?

Dad: Uh, yes, of course, Peter. Just put it back where you found it.

Horrid Henry: What?!

Perfect Peter: Thanks, Dad!

(Dad carries Henry's stuff to Henry's room, but the doorbell rings, and he opens the door)

Delivery man: Delivery for Pumpkin Peter.

Horrid Henry: Pumpkin Peter?

Dad: Peter, there's a delivery for you.

Perfect Peter: Ooh, that was quick.

(Gordon, Sam, and Ted together) Yay!

(The delivery man gives Peter a pencil to sign the receipt. He takes the pencil back and gives Peter a red DJB box. He goes to the living room)

Horrid Henry: So, as I was saying...

Dad: Dah! (drops the items, and Henry catches them) Ah, thank you, Henry.

Horrid Henry: Caller ID means that if someone calls you, and you're on the phone already...

(Fluffy peeks out of the kitchen and goes to the living room)

Perfect Peter: Yo, Fluffy! You the cat that can!

(Fluffy meows)

Horrid Henry: Just put it here, Dad.

Dad: (puts Henry's stuff on Henry's desk) But, we need to tidy all this up.

Horrid Henry: It's fine, Dad. So, as well as not having caller ID, you didn't have text, and neither did you.

Dad: Well, no, Henry. (accidentally knocks down Henry's comics) Oops. Sorry, Henry.

Horrid Henry: Oh, that's okay. I feel sorry for you, really.

Dad: What do you mean?

Horrid Henry: Well, for tweeting, or warbling, or kibbling...

Dad: How do you know all those things, Henry?

Horrid Henry: Oh, I just do. So, what do you reckon? Can I get a mobile phone today?

Dad: Well, um... That doesn't sound like the Number Gnomes.

Horrid Henry: Number Gnomes. Number Gnomes. The really important question is can I have a mobile phone? Just a little one? (Dad gets out of bed) Dad! (gets out of bed and follows Dad downstairs)

(Gordon, Sam, and Ted together) We the man, we the man, we the man! (Sam goes to Dad) Yo, you the man! The man in the house!

Dad: Where's Peter? What have you done with him?

(Sam points towards Peter dressed as the King of Bling)

Goody-Goody Gordon: Behold, the King of Bling!

(Peter turns around)

Dad: Peter?!

Perfect Peter: (snaps his fingers, and Sam goes towards the Best Boys) Best Boys, are the man. (snaps his fingers)

(The Best Boys together) Best Boys are the man, the King of the Bling! Best Boys are the man, they just want to sing! Best Boys are the man, want to do their tests! Best Boys are the man, the best of the best! We the man! The King of the Bling!

Dad: (notices the DJB DVD and picks it up) Where did you get this?

Perfect Peter: Great Aunt Greta sent it to me.

Dad: (notices it's for 13+) But, it's for teenagers! Turn it off, now!

Perfect Peter: I can't. I'm having too much fun. (giggles)

Dad: Turn it off now, Peter!

Perfect Peter: No. DJB says yo to no. No go, eh?

Dad: (turns off the TV, and the Best Boys stop dancing) I never heard anything so ridiculous in my life.

Perfect Peter: Yo, Dad, chill.

Dad: No, I will not chill! You're supposed to be practicing for the school board on Monday. (notices a bling ring) And what's that you're wearing?!

Perfect Peter: It's a bling ring. Do you like it?

Dad: A bling ring?! Where did you get that stuff from, anyways?

Perfect Peter: Oh, from the DJB store. I ordered it on Mum's mobile phone. DJB showed me how to.

(DJB tiptoes away from the screen)

Dad: You used Mum's mobile phone?!

Perfect Peter: (tearfully) You said I could.

Dad: (growls) RIGHT, THAT'S IT, PETER! No TV for a whole week.

(The Best Boys and Fluffy cry due to Dad's punishment of no TV for a whole week)

Horrid Henry: Uh, Dad, about my mobile phone?

Dad: N-O. SPELLS. NO, HENRY! (leaves the living room)

Horrid Henry: Thanks, worm. I did say it wouldn't be easy. Uh, I could do it without the caller ID!